


Intelligence Gathering by Allied Forces

by darklioness82



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6053116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklioness82/pseuds/darklioness82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bernie’s not the only one at Holby General who chooses to watch the people rather than the walls…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intelligence Gathering by Allied Forces

Zosia looked on in surprise as Bernie walked straight up to the woman in military fatigues. 

 

“That's Alex?!” she said to Jac, who simply grinned smugly and nodded her head. “And you knew?!” The younger woman looked incredulously at her superior. 

 

“Well, not quite but I'd guessed.” Jac could be a know-it-all at the best of times and Zosia took no comfort in her admitting it was guesswork when she knew that she should really have picked up on it herself. 

 

“So she's what; gay? Bi? Confused?” Jac glanced at her subordinate with an exasperated expression on her face. Why were people so keen to put a label on things these days? Why couldn’t they just accept that sometimes things just happened? Not that she understood the specifics in this particular instance but Jac had a high success rate of putting two and two together and could hazard an educated guess. 

 

“I don't think it really matters.” Jac looked over at the tender reunion discreetly taking place a short distance away. “I've just seen more chemistry between those two in the last five minutes than I have between her and her husband in the few weeks I've known them.” 

 

“But with a woman?” Zosia wasn't sure what she thought a lesbian was supposed to look like, but Bernie certainly didn't fit the profile she had in her head through past experience. 

 

“Do you have a problem with that Ms March?” Because if she did, Jac wouldn't hesitate to remind her of her diversity and equality obligations. She might be a career-minded, hard-nosed cow on occasion, but Jac was also decent and fair.

 

“No but, it's just… and then there's Marcus…” 

 

“I think this time we'll leave her marriage for her to sort out? I am somewhat surprised that you appear to have a problem with homosexual relationships.”

 

“I don't! Some of my friends are gay,” Zosia trotted out the disclaimer automatically, as though it explained everything and absolved her of further thought on the matter.

 

“And would they all happen to be  _ male  _ friends?” Jac asked her leadingly. Zosia looked at Jac sheepishly and nodded in confirmation. The consultant inclined her head and awaited further explanation from her subordinate. 

 

“I just, I sort of looked up to her. She's kind of mentored me from the start and she's experienced so much…” Zosia had been in awe of the army medic since she’d been told about her. Her experience and and skill was revered, even by her hard-to-impress father, and that had to count for something. Then when they'd met in person, despite the poorly state Bernie had been in, she'd carried it off with a force of personality, strong will and determination. Zosia challenged anyone not to be enamoured by that.

 

“I don't understand the problem? Who she's in a relationship with doesn't change that.”

 

“She just isn't who I thought she was...” Zosia seemed to break herself out of wherever her mind had disappeared to and shook her head. “Anyway, if you'll excuse me?” The younger woman brushed past Jac and left her none the wiser as to her odd reaction. 

 

***

 

After Bernie had said her goodbyes to Alex, she spotted Jac still hovering over the other side of the room. She smiled gratefully and made her way over. “Thank you for that, it's very much appreciated.” 

 

“No problem at all. How did it go?” Jac and Bernie hadn't always seen eye to eye on things over the last few weeks and the older woman had quite obviously been struggling with the transition from field medicine to the constraints of the NHS. But Jac had also spotted an underlying emotional problem which had piqued her interest back when Bernie had been a patient before. 

 

“We're meeting up later, talk things through properly. Can I just ask; how did you know?” Bernie sounded more curious than cross so Jac felt confident enough to speak frankly with her.

 

“I didn't, not really. I'd put a couple of things together along with some of the things that you weren't saying, chiefly any use of a pronoun when you spoke about her. If she'd have been a man there would have been no room for doubt.” Bernie chuckled sardonically. 

 

“Yes, not particularly subtle in this day and age I suppose.” 

 

“Oh it still fooled most people, one especially.” 

 

“Oh?”

 

“Zosia. She's a little…. surprised.” Jac said it in a tone of voice that Bernie could easily interpret. 

 

“ _ That _ doesn't sound good.”

 

“I don't think it's insurmountable, but perhaps might require a bit of…  manoeuvring?” Bernie raised her eyebrows at Jac and the younger woman shrugged her shoulders before going back to whatever she was supposed to have been doing.

  
  


***

 

Zosia was standing in the queue in the canteen when a voice behind her made her jump. 

 

“I'll get that and a strong coffee with a dash of milk for me please.” The younger woman looked up at Bernie and smiled sheepishly. The army medic raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Hot chocolate in the middle of the day!?” she teased. Zosia shrugged and mumbled her response. 

 

“Felt like it. That and PMT.” Bernie grinned widely, at least some of their close relationship remained intact after the morning’s revelations. 

 

“Ahh, I see. Luckily I don't have to suffer that anymore.” Zosia's eyebrows rose in surprise, as though it hadn't occurred to her before. Bernie paid for their drinks which provided a natural break in the conversation.

 

“You didn’t have to you know, but thank you.” Zosia pointed out as they both moved up the queue to the counter at the end.

 

“I know and you're welcome. I was hoping you'd sit with me so we could talk?” Bernie then picked up their drinks, handing Zosia hers before moving off to find somewhere to sit. The canteen was only half full; lunch was pretty much over, save for a few late stragglers and it was just before the mid-afternoon snackers arrived for a junk food fix. They found a two person table by one of the windows overlooking the main road at the front of the hospital. “You appear to have been ignoring me today?” There was a protest on the tip of her tongue but Zosia thought better of it. 

 

“I haven't meant to, I just... I didn’t really know what to say.” The atmosphere was awkward and tense. Zosia looked at the older woman and saw a hint of disappointment as well as uncertainty in her eyes and then she realised that she actually had a lot at stake when it came to other people's reactions. Herself and Jac were the only ones who knew about Alex and either of them could make life at Holby General difficult for Bernie, if they’d have wanted to. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Who you spend your own time with is none of my business.” The younger woman's eyes fell, unable to look Bernie in the eye out of embarrassment.

 

“If I believed that, then the whole debacle with Marcus when I was a patient never actually happened!” It was said in jest and Zosia had to smile as she looked up at Bernie and  conceded the point. “But it clearly does bother you for some reason. Talk to me, ask me what you want to know.”

 

“Why are you interested in what I think? I’m nothing to you, we don’t even work on the same ward. We could just avoid each other from now on.” 

 

“Honestly? I don’t know, but it seems to matter to you and I thought we had a connection. I… I don’t have many friends here, I’d sort of thought you were becoming one.” 

 

“Really?” There was a burning sensation in Zosia's chest; pride that someone she looked up to liked her enough to consider her a friend but also the weight of responsibility to keep Bernie’s secret and do right by her. It was a big ask and she still wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it.

 

“Yes, does that surprise you?” Bernie hadn't thought about the age gap until now. Alex was ten years younger than her and she had a mixture of friends who were at least a decade either side of her own age. Perhaps she'd inadvertently made the younger woman uncomfortable?

 

“Twice in one day! What an exciting life we lead.” Zosia tried to deflect the issue with humour. 

 

“And you’re wandering off the point somewhat.” The younger woman took a deep breath and prepared to explain, as best she could. 

 

“I’m not even really that bothered you’re cheating on Marcus, surprisingly. I suppose, looking back, you did try to tell me, although not in so many words. And perhaps I knew it deep down. It’s just… you’re so upfront about everything, you say things as they are and don’t care who you’re arguing with, as long as you get your point across. Your  _ discussions _ with Hanssen are becoming infamous around here. And I admire you for that, it's one of the reasons I care so much. I just would have thought you’d have been more upfront about this too, especially to me.”

 

“The army is still an institution you know. It’s still very much a man’s world and yes, there’s been some progress and movement towards to the 21st Century but culture and attitudes hold firm. Being a woman is handicap enough so first and foremost I have to protect myself.” Bernie took a long sip of her coffee and Zosia remained quiet, sensing correctly that the older woman hadn't finished. “The extension on my commission was supposed to be the first step in me telling Marcus; that I had a reason other than just the job to go back out there.” 

 

“I'm sorry, I knew at the time I shouldn't have interfered but I couldn't help myself.” 

 

“It doesn't matter now. Besides, Alex had already thrown a spanner in the works. Your timing ended up spot on after all.” Bernie still hadn’t forgiven her lover for the painful telephone conversation that had essentially ended their relationship several weeks ago. 

 

“Is that why you hadn't seen each other until this morning?” 

 

“Yes. We still need to sort some things out but I'm hopeful we'll be able to.” Their all too brief reunion had at least confirmed they still wanted to be together, despite their recent blip. 

 

“Are you in love with her?” Zosia asked curiously and when Bernie smiled wistfully it was all the answer the younger woman needed. The army medic blushed at having been caught but she was honest with her friend.

 

“Yes, I am. I have been for a while and I think it's about time I did something to prove it to her.” 

 

“And does she love you?” 

 

“She's told me enough times! I'm afraid it's me who’s been reticent.” There was that honesty again and Zosia now understood what it cost Bernie to disclose such personal information about herself, to admit her failings and what she was going to do to correct them. 

 

“That's understandable, you have your position and then there's your family.” 

 

“In part, though some of that is a convenient excuse. And I'm fully aware of it.” A persistent buzzing sound interrupted their conversation and Zosia slumped in her seat in annoyance . She reached into the pocket of her trousers and took out the offending pager. She let out a deep sigh and addressed her friend. 

 

“Sorry, looks like I'm needed.” 

 

“It's fine, that's what we're here for.” Bernie looked intensely at Zosia and she elaborated at the younger woman’s raised eyebrow. “Are we okay?” Zosia smiled and nodded her head.

 

“Yes, we’re fine. Friend.” 

 

“Now go! Stand up straight, shoulders back and quick… march!”

 

“Yes ma’am!” Zosia obeyed the command and left with a brief salute as a sign of respect. Bernie slumped back against her chair with her rapidly cooling coffee in her hand. She’d been through a bit of an emotional wringer over the last few hours and she still had more to come. At least she’d found allies in Jac and Zosia and would probably need to depend on their support if she was going to make good on her promise to Alex. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Until I learn otherwise, I'm still hopeful that Alex turns out to be a woman! Thanks, as always, to ncruuk for her encouragement (pestering!) and advice.


End file.
